My mother saw me take interest in performing, so she put me in schools for the arts and my acting bug was fully bitten.

When I was on that stage all my problems went away as I would become someone else, something else, and people would laugh and I felt so good inside — until I got off the stage. I had something working in my life, but I just didn’t know what. I packed away my emotions because no matter what I did, the pain I felt since the day my father passed away was a constant reminder that I always felt less than, because he was gone.

As life went on I got into martial arts, comic books, video games — my geek was in full swing.

Life kept going and I looked at different religions, to see who had the answers. I didn’t stay long in any religion that was not for me at the time. I looked to Zen and found some great things in truth. Everywhere I looked, in every religion, they all had answers. They just were not an end all, be all for me as I viewed them in my life. I was asking the same questions we all wanted to have answers for. I was asking everyone who I thought could help me on my path.

As I got older with some crazy life experience under my belt, it appeared that all was well.

Then in one months time, my personal and professional life completely fell apart and rebuilt its self. I didn’t know what was going on, and I felt like I was just moving through this life, and that I was 50/50 half in, half out. During a playshop with one of my friends and mentors he had an exercise that brought it all together for me.

This particular playshop was in a house by a beautiful lake and there was a room full of about 20 people. My friend playfully said to the group. “This is the part where we play, humor-the-facilitator.” Your whole life, your soul and spirit have been trying to communicate with you, the phone has been ringing and you are going to answer the call this time. So just reach out and pretend you are picking up the phone and have a conversation with Source.”

So I play along and close my eyes, grab the phone, place it to my ear and…boom!!!

Instantly I’m transported onto a stage that has a red curtain, with gold trim on the bottom of it. I swear it looked just like the stage on the Muppet show. One spotlight hit center stage. I hear,“Hello?!” I called back, “Hello??” I was rather impatient at the time. “I’m over here please step into the light.” So I make my way over to the light and I feel the rush of being on stage, and I’m so at home. I look out and I ask, “who’s there?” The voice comes back to me. “You know who is out here.” So I get mad real fast and just go ballistic. “Oh yeah, so you’re out there huh, well where were you when I was off the stage, huh?! How come I could only find you here!!?” The voice said, “I have always been with you.” I screamed, “Bullshit! Where were you when that kid stole my bike!? When those kids beat me up, and the kid who said he was my best friend just watched!?

Where were you, when time and time again I would get my heart broken by people who said they loved me and just used me!?

Where were you when they broke into my house, and took our stuff!? Where were you when she just said all of those horrible things to me, and just ripped my heart out!? Where were you when I was so depressed that I felt like I just wanted to check out and be done with this!? Where were you when my father died!? Why did you take him!? Why is it I could only find peace on this stage and nowhere else in life!!? NOWHERE ELSE!! I want answers, and I want them now, and don’t be cryptic either. Why is it that nothing in my life is working!? Why would I only find peace, accept myself, and love myself when I was on this stage!? Why was I only able to find you here!?” (I was a little emotional, to say the least.)

“Is that all?” The voice said. “Tell Me!!” I screamed.

There was a short pause and then I heard, “Do you remember how you were before your father died? Of course you do, and you say you could only find me here on that stage. I was with you the whole time. I was communicating through all of those things that you were interested in. You found the Theatre, and so since you were there, I had ways of talking to you there. Do you remember the first piece you had to memorize in your training?” “Yeah!” I said sarcastically. “Recite it for me,” the voice said. It was from Shakespeare…

“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players.

They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts…”

OOHH MYY GOD!!!!

Laughter filled the stadium, and at that moment I was flooded with my life experience. Up until that moment I was shown how spirit had always been communicating with me. I had never been alone. The message had always been so geared and perfectly tailored for my understanding. Spirit was talking to me through all the things I was interested in, I just hadn’t been listening. I was too busy telling my sob story rather than telling a story that was good for me. Since I could only find peace and acceptance of myself and my life on the stage…the Shakespearean message was so clear. All the worlds a stage! Duh Jeoff! I laughed. I was humbled. I was giddy!! I was laughing at the absurdity of it all, and I threw up my middle fingers and said “FUNNY!!!!!” I kept laughing while I was rolling on the floor, and I could hear the audience just roaring with me. It was amazing.

Once I calmed down I could feel how much I had changed, how much I felt a renewed peace within me.

This peace was there the whole time, and I finally stopped denying myself the love I so desired. I had my laughter back, my life felt like mine again and I was gifted with book ideas, movie ideas, and CDs/DVDs. These ideas were there, and I said, “Thank you. Thank you so much.” I was now an Artist of Life, and the world is always my stage.

I love Being Me.